Couple's Therapy
by Rho97
Summary: Gumi and Len's marriage has been on the rocks latley, so Gumi has signed them up for couple's therapy. Will Len and Gumi's relationship thrive or dive? Read to find out! RATED T FOR LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL THEMES! I DO NOT OWN VOCALOID IN ANY WAY! only the story is mine
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"LEN~~~!" cried Gumi as she was walking downstairs. "What is Gum-Gum?" said Len. "Stop calling me that! You know I hate it!" "I only call you that because I know you do!" said Len with a grin on his face. "It is almost time to go to our marriage counseling session! We need to go!" "Aw, come on Gumi! You know I hate going to those sessions!" said Len angrily. "Well I only signed us up for them because we had that huge argument over whether to get paper or plastic bags at the grocery store!" said Gumi, while acting mildly annoyed. "Alright fine, let's get this over with." said Len. Both Len and Gumi had just gotten in the car when another argument started to begin. "Dammit Len! Will you put your friggin' seat-belt on?! You're in the car driving for crying out loud!" said Gumi worriedly. "I'M GOING TO! GIVE ME A MINUTE! WE ARE ONLY THREE FEET OUT OF THE DRIVE-WAY!" yelled Len. Surprisingly both Gumi and Len get to their destination without ripping each other's heads off.

"Hello? How may I help you?" said the receptionist at the front desk. "Hi, we are here to see Dr. Kamui for marriage counseling today." said Gumi. "Oh! Ok! Right this way then." The receptionist then walks the couple to Dr. Kamui's office. "Here you are! He is right inside!" "Thank you, and while you are at it, can you bring me a noose so I don't have to sit through this?" said Len. *THWAK!* "Ouch, what the hell Gumi?!" said Len. "Just walk inside and do this for me ok?!" said Gumi while holding the magazine she had hit Len with was still rolled up in her hand. "Physical violence is never the answer to your problems." said Dr. Kamui. "Please, step into my office, you two."


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: Thanks for your support for those who reviewed!

Chapter 2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Thank you for agreeing to see us today Dr. Kamui!" said an excited Gumi. "Yeah, thanks…" said Len while rubbing the bump on his head where Gumi hit him. "The pleasure is all mine! Now, why have you asked me to talk to you two today?" asked Gakupo (A/N I will be calling him Gakupo from now on). "Me and Len are always fighting and I think that we need to become closer as a couple." said Gumi. "Oh I see…" said Gakupo. "By the way…. I don't think we have properly met!" said Gakupo cheerfully. "My name is Gakupo Kamui, or "Dr. Kamui" as my degree states." Said Gakupo "My name is Gumi Kagamine. Pleased to meet you!" said Gumi (A/N Yes, Gumi took Len's name). "Len Kagamine" said Len. "I'm very pleased to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Kagamine!" said Gakupo after shaking both Gumi and Len's hands. "Now about your problem…I am going to give you a series of tasks to do each night ok?" said Gakupo. "Sounds easy enough!" said Len. "But here is the catch….If you argue at least once during my plan….you must start it all over again." said Gakupo. By hearing this Gumi's face lit up. "Ok that sounds like a great idea!" said Gumi. Meanwhile, Len's face went pale. "_Oh crap! We are screwed!" _thought Len. "It seems that our time for today is about up." Said Gakupo while staring at the clock. _"Thank God…."_ Thought Len. "Now, your first assignment." "Before you go to bed tonight, I want you both to come up with five things that you love about each other." "That sounds perfect!" said Gumi wide-eyed as can be. "Sounds easy enough…" moped Len.

~~~~~~~_Later, at the Kagamine House_~~~~~~~

"Len do you have your list?" said Gumi excitedly. "Yea I guess so…." Said Len. "Good…..you go first" said Gumi as the couple takes a seat on the couch. "Here goes nothing…." "Ok…. Number one….I love your hair." said Len while blushing beet-red. "Aww~! Thank you!" said Gumi while blushing a similar shade. "Number two…..you always wear the cutest outfits." said Len. Hearing this, Gumi's smile begins to widen. "Number three…..you are always nice to others." Gumi suddenly began staring at the ground. "Number four….you are very smart" "Thanks!" said Gumi. "Number five…you made my favorite color green" said Len smiling up at Gumi. Gumi hugs Len tightly after hearing this. "You are so sweet Len!" she said after kissing him. "Yea yea yea." he said. "Just read your list" he said jokingly.

"Ok, here goes….." "Number one, I love your calm nature." said Gumi. "Number two…..you are pretty strong." "Number three…..you are very smart." said Gumi while Len blushes. "Number four…I love your sense of humor." "And last, but not least, Number five…..you made my favorite color yellow." said Gumi while smiling at Len. After hearing this, Len kisses Gumi lovingly.

"Why don't we…..take this upstairs?" asked Gumi seductively. "YES M'AM!" said Len, knowing what is about to occur. Both Gumi and Len run upstairs to the bedroom at Olympic world record speed. "Oh boy~~~~~!" said Len as Gumi slowly shut the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well, _that_ definitely happened." said Len as both he and Gumi were staring wide-eyed at the ceiling. "Yeah…it did." said Gumi. "Ummm….good job?" said Len. "Yeah….you did good too, I guess" said Gumi. Len began to drift to sleep while recalling the events of last night. "Hey chief?" said Gumi. "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Len looks down in confusion and immediately blushes and rolls over in bed. "Shut up!" he said while Gumi was laughing.

"Well…. I guess I should start breakfast…." said Gumi with a drowsy tone to her voice. "What do you want? Eggs or eggs?" she said. "Whichever isn't burnt when you're done cooking it!" Len replied while chuckling loudly. "Remind me why I haven't put rat poison in your food yet?" she replied to Len's smartass remark. "Because you love me!" yelled Len, trying to sweet-talk Gumi. "ONE DAY THAT ISN'T GOING TO STOP ME!" yelled Gumi.

_Kagamine House, 2:45 pm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"GUMI! COME HERE!" screamed Len, loud enough that the neighbors were tempted to call police for a domestic dispute. "What's wrong?" she asked quizzically. "Did you mess with the DVR again?!" "No, all I did was record an episode of Full Metal Panic, why?" (which Rho97 also does not own)said Gumi. "Why? Why? WHY? YOU RECORDED IT OVER Y FAVORITE EPISODE OF FULL METAL ALCHEMIST!" (I don't own that show either) screamed Len. "Oh, I'm sorry!" said Gumi "…..just watch what you are doing next time….ok?" asked Len.

_Gakupo Kamui's Office, 7:30 pm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"So, how did last night go? Did you do what I said?" asked Gakupo excidedly. "It was…*ahem* …..fine" said Len, thinking about that certain… _event_…. that took place the night before (You know the one *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*) "Yes, we followed what you said to the letter!" said Gumi, enthusiastically. "And then some" Len quietly butted in. Gumi blushed after hearing this and Gakupo got a knowing smile on his face. "Huh….I never knew my advice worked _that_ well" he said. "How was your day?" "It was ok until Ms. Genius (insert genius meme face here) recorded over my show on the DVR." said Len, looking over at Gumi. "What the hell?! I thought we were over that! I said I was sorry!" Gumi retorted loudly. "Yes, but sorry won't bring back my show!" said Len angrily. "_Hmmm….they go from joking around to bickering like maniacs in seconds….clearly I am going to have to step up my game if they want their marriage to be successful…"_ thought Gakupo, while Len and Gumi were at each other's throats. "Alright that is enough you two." said Gakupo while both of them stopped and stared at him. "For your next assignment….I want you to take these." said Gakupo, while handing the puzzled newlyweds a pair of notebooks. "What are these for?" asked both Gumi and Len in unison. "These are what I call…" Gakupo paused to come up with a fancy name. "…Attitude Journals." he finally said, feeling smart. "Attitude Journals?" the couple said in unison. "Yes, both of you are going to write down how the other acts towards you or others for two weeks." "After said two weeks, you will turn in the notebooks to me and I will evaluate them." Said Gakupo. "Sounds easy enough…" Len calmly stated. "Here is the catch…..if any of you miss a day…. You must start over." "And until the two weeks is over….you cannot come back to this office." Said Gakupo. "Oh god kill me now…." Said Len. "If you insist…" said Gakupo while reaching for the katana he kept on the wall. "I was kidding!" said Len, nervously.

_Monday, First Day of Notebook Challenge_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Morning.." said Gumi groggily. "Yea.." said Len. "I am going to McDonalds for pancakes wanna come?" asked Len. "No….McDonalds will just make you fat." She said. "If you don't need to eat their then why do they make the pancakes taste so good?" "….Point taken… I guess I will tag along….but if I gain so much as an ounce from this…." said Gumi, while looking over to Len. "You will be fine." said Len.

_After McDonalds….~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"Dammit, Len! I can't believe you got a ticket!" "It isn't my fault! We were only inside for five minutes!" shouted Len. "…You double-parked…" said Gumi "So?" "….In a Handicapped space!" said Gumi, annoyed. "I _was_ handicapped because my legs were tired!" said Len. "Whatever…." Said Gumi. "And stop speeding and put your freaking seat-belt on." She said. "We are only going 80mph-" "And the limit is 60!" Gumi shouted. Surprisingly both of them made it home without attention from the police.

_Later, that night_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"_Len was semi-tolerable today…even though he is a complete moron_. _He needs to be a little slower to anger…but other than that… he was fine_." Gumi wrote in her journal. Across the bed, Len was also writing in his journal. "_Gumi was ok today….she needs to get off of my back sometimes and needs to understand that I want to do things my way sometimes." _Len wrote. "_Hmmm she can be so cute sometimes…."_ Len thought while admiring Gumi, who was curling one of her green locks of hair with her finger. "_But that won't stop me from loving her…" _Len hastily wrote in his journal. "Maybe things aren't as bad as they seem." "Hmmm?" asked Gumi. "Oh…it's nothing…" said Len before drifting off to sleep.

**Thank you so much for the positive feedback on this story! I really appreciate it! Thanks to lilarinofanficgoddess, BlackCatNeko999, a guest named kami, and an unnamed guest for reviewing! This is Rho97 signing off! Ciao! :3**


	4. Chapter 4

**HEY GUYS! IT IS FINALLY HERE! AFTER WEEKS OF DEVELOPMENT…..HERE IS CHAPTER FOUR! *crowd cheers* I would like to thank the academy- "JUST GET ON WITH IT" ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! THANKS TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED! WITHOUT FURTHER ADO…..**

**Chapter 4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Good morning, Len! How did you sleep?" asked Gumi. "Fine, you?" "Okay I guess…" "Good to hear!" said Len. A long pause was between the two and a little over five minutes later, Gumi broke it. "Len….here is the thing…..we are running low on money…..I think I need to get a job." said Gumi while pouring a bowl of cereal. "_FINALLY! I WON'T HAVE TO WORK WHILE SHE SITS ON HER ASS ALL DAY!" _thought Len with a smirk on his face. "Umm….what is with the rape-face?" asked a puzzled Gumi. "Sorry…" _"Play it cool…..don't let her know that you are happy about that!" _thought Len to himself. "Are you sure you want to go through with that? I, for one, think we are doing fine on money." said Len. "Fine?...Fine?!" "I am eating a generic-brand of cereal called Cereal! (Got that idea from Everybody Hates Chris, which I do not own)" exclaimed Gumi. "Alright fine…so maybe our wallets are a little empty, so what?" "So what?! The TV is broken and I cant find the remote, so I have to change the channel with a pair of freaking pliars!" yelled an angry Gumi. "Point taken…" said Len submissively.

"What are you planning on doing for said job?" asked Len, curious to see what kind of job Gumi wanted. "Follow me…..I need to show you something, it is in the attic." "Is it bananas?" asked Len, really hoping that it really would be bananas. "No, you moron! Why would I keep bananas in the attic?" "….I dunno…." said Len, who was disappointed that the thing that Gumi wanted to show was, in fact, not bananas. Reaching the attic, Gumi grabs something that puzzles Len. "It looks like a picture frame…" said Len. "It's what's in the frame that I wanted to show you…" said Gumi while blowing dust off of said frame. "Look at what it is…." "…" "What's wrong Len?" asked Gumi. "….." Len responded with silence. "Hello? You still alive?" "….a…." "A…?" "a….a….p-…..p-…" said Len trying to get words out of his mouth. "Come on! Spit it out…." said Gumi. "A PH.D IN COMPUTER SCIENCE?!" "WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS!?" yelled Len, who was shocked to see how casual Gumi was acting. "Well….it was about ten years ago….." "We have been married for 9!" "I know! It's just that…if you saw that I had this degree….I thought that you would make me get a job…." "Seriously?!" "What the hell do you mean by that?!" screamed Len. "Well….I am kinda' lazy…. ya' know?" said Gumi with a beaming smile. " I hate working…" said Gumi while continuing her beaming smile. Len face-palms after Gumi's smile began to fade.

_The Next Day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Gumi woke up that next morning with a nervous feeling in her stomach, after finding out something that Len might not be pleased about. (A/N Oh, he will be pissed…..) "Len…..I have something to tell you…." said Gumi nervously, while nudging Len's shoulder while he is on a business call. "I can't talk right now, Gumi. This call is important" said Len, who then returned to the phone. "Ok…." said Gumi, while she walked slowly away.

_Two Hours Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"Len?" said Gumi as she attempted to talk to Len. "Not now Gumi…. I am trying to create some portfolios for work…" said Len, who was concentrating on his work. "Ok…" said Gumi, who walked away defeated once again.

_Two __**MORE**__ Hours Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"Len?" asked Gumi. "….I have to tell you something" "Can't it wait? This isn't a good time…." said Len. "Why is that?" asked Gumi. "I am in the bathroom…." said Len quietly. "….Point taken…." said Gumi, as she remembered she was standing outside of the bathroom door.

_**TWO MORE FREAKING HOURS!**_

"Len?" asked Gumi. "I need to tell you something…." "Tell me when I get back from the store…. I ran out of bananas…" said Len, who was grabbing the car keys. "But!" "Don't worry! I don't have anymore work today…. You can tell me once I get back…" "But!" "I will be back soon…. Love you!" "PICK UP SOME DIAPERS WHILE YOU ARE OUT!" "Ok! Will do!" Len, who wasn't paying much attention to what Gumi said, shouted back. Then after about ten seconds….. realization kicks in. Len walks back inside casually and walks over to Gumi. "….What did you say?" said Len who was squinting out of confusion. "I said to pick up some diapers…." Len, who nods out of assurance, begins to speak. "That is what I thought you said…." "WHEN THE HELL WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME YOU WERE PREGNANT?!" yelled Len, who was genuinely shocked from the ordeal. "I tried to for about…. *scrolls up the chapter*…six hours!" (A/N I just broke that 4th wall wide open, did I not?) "You still could have told me!" "Well you told me you were working…" "SO?! I THINK I COULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD IF YOU DID!" "I'm sorry!" "It's your fault I am pregnant!" "How?! I couldn't help it!" screamed Len. "You weren't on the pill!" " AND YOU BOUGHT THE CHEAP "YOU-KNOW-WHATS" INSTEAD OF THE BRAND NAME ONES!" screamed Gumi, who was red in the face. "BUT THEY WERE FLAVORED!" "SO!?" "CARROT FLAVORED!" yelled Len as the couple blushed in unison. "….point-taken…." said Gumi, who was looking away from Len. "I guess we are both at fault for this aren't we…..?" asked Len. "Yeah, I suppose…" whispered Gumi. "Well, we might as well go through with the pregnancy….. we always wanted kids…right?" said Len. "Yeah, I guess we did, huh?" said Gumi, who was now looking at Len. "Well….I still need to go to the store for bananas….. now we need diapers….." "Yeah…." "You might as well come with me so we can pick those out together…" said Len, who was now looking at Gumi. "Ok then….let's go…" said Gumi, as the couple was walking out. "Hang on one second…." said Len, who walked back inside. Walking over to the fridge, Len opens it, then continues to open a secret panel in the back. _"If Gumi knew I sake in here she would kill me…" _thought Len, as he chugged about a fourth of the bottle. "It is gonna' be a long nine months…." said Len. "GUMI! YOU'D BETTER DRIVE!" "WHY?" yelled back Gumi, in response. "I am feeling kinda' dizzy….." said Len, who already felt a little tipsy from the drink.


End file.
